Jayden

On December 10th Jayden was admitted to a neuropsychiatric unit in SLC. It has been a rough 1 1/2 weeks. I always thought that it would be great to have a break from him. I am not one to really like to much peace and quiet and thats all I seem to have lately. Its quite depressing. I can go visit him and I try to go up every other day. I would love to go every day but its just too expensive. I miss him so much! Our visits are often short because he is very irritable right now. He doesnt like people asking him questions and he has had some behavior issues. They had originally taken him off of all of his meds but have had to add 3 new ones because he was so hyper. I mean like literally couldnt sit still for more than 2 seconds. He has a flat affect and they are wondering if he has some depression going on. Its weird to think a 6 year old could be depressed but I just want him to get some help to be happy again. He seems to like it up there but I think he still wants to come home. It may actually be months before he truelly gets to. Unless these meds magically work by the time the holidays are over he may require more treatment. This throws off everything but at this point the only thing that matters to me is that he is happy. I worried about how he was sleeping up there because at home he always slept in my bed, which will now be a thing of the past.It sounds liek he has been sleeping good. His roommate told us that Jayden was the best roommate ever. The Art therapist said Jayden has amazing artistic talent. She said whatever pictures he didnt want she would take. He really is great, he has an eye for detail, and can draw things from memory. I have been lost lately. This week is guaranteed to be rough as well. Jayds 7th Birthday is on Wednesday. He is not really to excited and we planned on going to Chuck E Cheese but instead we will take him a Happy Meal and some cupcakes and spend it at the "Hospital". We cant even take all his presents because he cant keep them there and we cant show him them and then take them away. He should be able to come home for a few hours on Christmas Day. That should be nice. I know he really wants to see Kaylee. I hope that we can get him situated and not ever have to take him back but as I have been going up there I have noticed that it seems kids visit there repeatedly. I really cant do this to much. Its all just mentally exhausting. I have been on the verge of tears all the time. Not cool but I guess it just comes with the territory.

Rough week!

I have pretty much come to the conclusion that there is no help out there for Jayden. I talked to one of(well his only real friend)friends mom today and she told me that she had been through the same thing with her just a few months ago. She felt exactly the same way I did and it was hard to get her daughter the help that she needed. This friend of his also has Aspergers and ADHD and basically the same history. They are also in the same class this year. They finally got her on some meds that have really helped and the mom took some Love and Logic classes and I am definetly going to look into that. Its sad but feels so nice at the same time to know that I am not alone and that other moms have been through the same thing and have felt exactly the sameway that I do now. She sais it gets worse before it gets better and it has gotten worse so when do we get the "better" part? I feel like if I want anything done than I have to do it myself. Which is pretty much how life has always been so why should it be any different now? I am disappointed with everyone right now! The system is ridiculous. His Dr(psych) doesnt want to take him off of all of his meds, but will decrease the doses and get rid of his ADHD med. The next few weeks may be a nightmare, but we will just has to get through it. I was hoping to be able to work less now but it looks like Ive got at least 10 more weeks of picking up extras before my financial situation eases up a bit. I just want to work a little less and have my little buddy back. On the bright side, I am officially done with orienting and worked mmy 1st shift alone on saturday. I started an IV and gave blood. My IV did go bad after 10 min and I wasnt able to get the others in but hey, baby steps, right? Its a great job and I love that most of the people are super nice and are right there to help you out no matter what goes wrong.