New room

This last couple of weeks has been rough. Jayden is turning back into a little devil. I love him but he is really testing me right now. I almost took him back to PCMC on Saturday. I really dont want to but if he continues with his behavior I feel I have no other choice. Today was a good day though. Minimal breakdowns. We did spend the day looking for caterpillars though. Just what he wanted to do. He even touched a GINORMOUS spider, bigger than a black widow! It literally disgusted me!

Theres just been too much drama and craziness in my life. I want to decorate my room and make it comfy and relaxing! I cant say exactly what my theme is but I purchased a lamp in the gift shop at work. I plan on getting another one also. I just a want a place to relax before bed that is just for me. No Jayden and no work. I have searched many websites looking for the perfect one. This seems to be the closest. It comes with everything on the bed. 20 pieces! As you can imagine it is kinda pricey, that is why I hesitate in buying it. I want some opinions! I normally go for dark colors but I want this room to be light.

My lamp is similar to this one. It is taller and it is very pretty!

This is the bed set. What do you think? Do they go together? Im just not sure!

We've got a REAL winner!

I am sitting here, a few hours after battling it out with Jayden, wondering how single moms survive. How have I survived? I am proud to call myself a single mom only because I've worked hard and will continue to work hard because thats just who I am. There are single parents out there that get help from another parent and there are parents who dont. I am part of the latter. I dont enjoy being an only parent to my child. I despise it. There are times when I want to have a break, a few hours is all, but I cant. Sure Jayden is in school now, that helps. But when he comes home hes all mine. That means no trips to the bathroom without him right outside the door. We cant even be more than 5 feet apart without him being scared. I am not making that up. If he has to walk more than 5 feet away he is saying, "Mom....Mommy......Mom" over and over just to hear my voice so he knows I have not left him. Yea it was no big deal at first but now its just down right irritating. When I say I need a break, I REALLY need a break. I dont party, I dont go out with friends much, its just me and him. For the most part I am ok with it but occasionally when we are really butting heads I would like to be able to drop him off at another parents house and say, "I'll be back in a few hours". According to the sperm donor in my situation Jaydens behavior is normal. All kids behave that way. If Jaydens behavior was normal would he have been hospitalized 2x in the last 10 months because of his behavior? Even if I was a crazy Mom, which I am not denying at this point, they do not keep kids in the hospital unless they need it. Lets just say that would be some expensive child care. My point is people should not assume that they know everything. I am tired of being fed stories, of thinking that maybe someone has finally changed and decided to step it up. Sometimes I think I must be really confused but then I realize I just want what most people want, a Mother and a Father for their child. I am tired of it all. I will not stand for my child to be put 2nd any longer. Not 2nd to other siblings, to a girlfriend, to anyone. Sure I could use some help but not from a person who does not want to help or be there for there child. Men can be dead beat dads regardless of whether they pay child support. A true Dad is there 24/7 even if its just a phone call away and that doesnt mean only call when your girlfriend is at work so you dont have to deal with her questions and insecurities. Some girls may be dumb enough to keep dealing with selfish men but I for one am done with them.